Any body who knows me, knows that I’m a sucker for deep thoughts and meaningful conversations. And somehow, thankfully, I was able to find two such idiots to share this obsession with. Therefore, I thought of asking them some thought provoking questions, to see their reactions and understand them better. Because, obviously, I had nothing better to do. It was kind of like my own personal experiment and the two idiots were my lab rats.
I don’t want to talk about my first term result nor the existential crisis that came with it. However, I do want to talk about my future, because who’s ever satisfied with their present. Not this girl, obviously.
4th September, 2016
I’ve always thought that sharing your emotional baggage with someone is a sin because others have their own baggage to carry and for me to add on more load on them wouldn’t be fair, would it? So, I’ve normally kept it all inside me, thinking I’m some noble warrior who needs to be knighted for bearing all that pain by myself.
The waves hit the sand and my feet-
With what it’s familiar and with what it’s not;
Confused between old and new.
The waves tingle my feet
And a star fish latches onto my skin.
It hurts but it’s stuck
Like the lull of a blue Monday morning.
The sky is grey, the air is cold.
My teeth clatter
But I don’t cover
My masochist devil.
Carry me away, wind.
Sink me in, sea.
I don’t want to exist in this pale old world.
It’s too boring, too weary, too lonely.
Step, step, step;
Shells hurt my soles.
Step, step, step;
Into the water. Cold –
Foams hit my feet and sand.
My feet wrinkled,but not as much
Wonder if they’re already addicted
To the cold and stand still.
A hefty melody is the one
Mixed with memories
And decorated with heart breaks.
It is a cocktail too heavy to consume
And too acidic to gulp down.
It burns your insides
Creating this ringing sound
So strong and so loud
That you trip over your own feet
And land straight on the shattered glass
Of your cocktail which at some point
You had dropped because of the ringing,
Oh so painful ringing.
Later, that same cocktail of rainbow colours
– Red, green, yellow, blue
Becomes white wine
– Critical, analytical
And less colourful
Yet you go back to the bar
Again after some time
And order the fates to bring you
The same colourful, revolting cocktail
You sip it, you clutch your head and you fall
You do it again, and again some more.
Because face it,
Do you too sometimes feel emotions come rushing back to you as soon as you listen to a song. Do you too attach memories and feeling and emotions to songs. Do you too feel that agonising pleasure every time you hear a sad song? Tell me about it, I would love to hear from you!