Any body who knows me, knows that I’m a sucker for deep thoughts and meaningful conversations. And somehow, thankfully, I was able to find two such idiots to share this obsession with. Therefore, I thought of asking them some thought provoking questions, to see their reactions and understand them better. Because, obviously, I had nothing better to do. It was kind of like my own personal experiment and the two idiots were my lab rats.
I exceptionally, enjoyed the whole process and experience of interviewing them. I was able to predict most of their answers, however, some answers did take me by surprise and helped me understand the lab rats (ugh sorry, I meant best friends) more than I did previously.
However, before we start the interview, let me introduce the interviewees to you.
The two lab rats are:
Princess Zombie: She’s the deepest thinker of us all, I think. Princess is an ardent feminist and the friend I share The F Word blog with.
Olivia: She’s the cutest of us all and a very talented person. She loves to read shitty teenage novels on wattpad and is a huge fangirl.
Also, I didn’t have a tape recorder at that time, so most of the interview is paraphrased. And it’s not as great as I thought it would be. Nonetheless, let’s get to it and let the cringe-fest begin.
Q) Would you rather be set on fire alive or drown in a well?
Princess Zombie: Drown in a well. I’m scared of fire and I’ve had dreams about drowning which made me feel calm. Being set on fire seems life a torturous thing; like an oppressive family setting the girl on fire because she couldn’t give them a son.
Me: Like that movie Lajja where they set Rekha on fire?
Princess Zombie: Exactly! Drowning seems more calming.
Olivia: Be set on fire because I’ve experienced drowning and it’s NOT GOOD. Been there, done that. Being set on fire would be a new experience.
Q) Would you rather be hated while you’re alive and loved when you’re dead or be loved while you’re alive and hated when you’re dead?
Me: Basically, would you rather be Van Gogh of Hitler?
Princess Zombie: Hitler. Period. I’d rather be loved when I’m alive. I’m not a fan of legacies.
Olivia: Van Gogh. I want to be remembered.
Me: (to Olivia) So you’d rather be hated while you’re alive? Van Gogh didn’t have any friends. He didn’t sell even a single painting. He ate yellow paint thinking it would make him happy.
Olivia: *scandalised* Ok no. I’d rather be Hitler. I need results to carry on. Not getting results would suck.
Q) Would you rather be sad your whole life to experience that one ‘cry-my-eyes-out-happy moment’ or by equally happy throughout your life?
Olivia: Be equally happy throughout. Sadness sucks. Been there, done that.
Princess Zombie: Be sad throughout. I’m a sucker for drama.
*Princess Zombie leaves for a while so Olivia and I have a little chat*
Me: Olivia, don’t you think that being happy all the time would kind of merge together and become obsolete after some time. Like, you couldn’t be able to differentiate happiness from what you feel like every single day?
Olivia: I don’t think so. See, because once you’re at a high point of your happiness, and reality knocks in, you come crashing down which is the worst feeling ever. So I’d rather be equally happy throughout than otherwise.
Me: But don’t you find that thrill in being happy suddenly when you’re feeling absolutely shite the awesomest feeling ever?
Olivia: Yes, but sadness is comfort. Happiness, though, is bliss. I’d rather be blissful than comfortable.
* Princess Zombie comes back, so we continue *
Q) Chocolate or Sex?
Princess Zombie: None. I don’t like one and I haven’t ever had the other one.
Olivia: Chocolate. Cuz, obvio bro.
Q) If you could cry any particular thing (for instance; rainbow, pearls) other than tears, what would it be?
Princess Zombie: Words!! I would love to cry out poetry!
Me: No, but it’s supposed to be a ‘thing’. Words aren’t things!
Princess Zombie: Ok then, let me think.
Olivia: Stationary! I’d love it if I could get free cool stationary by just crying.
Princess Zombie: Oh I know! *Pauses* Boyfriends!
Me: I think I’ll have to scrap off the question because of your lame answer, Princess Zombie. *Rolls eyes*
Q) If you could interview any one dead or fictional person, who would it be?
Princess Zombie: Ambedkar! I would love to interview Ambedkar. If not Ambedkar, then probably Count Vronsky from Anna Karenina. He so sexy.
Olivia: Hmm. Let me think. Probably Lillian Linton.
Me: Who is she?
Olivia: She’s the protagonist of this story I’m reading on Wattpad. I’d love to interview her and ask how about how she felt life rebelling against the 19th century norms against women.
Q) Would you rather travel the universe and see the cosmos or travel the Earth?
Princess Zombie: Earth because it’s real. What if the cosmos turn out to be a bummer? I’d rather travel the world, meet humans from different places and keep dreaming about how the cosmos would look like.
Olivia: Earth because it has no much more to it. There’s so much left to uncover on Earth. I want to travel the world and discover the world present within our world. I also want to follow Taoism and be as close to nature as possible.
Q) What are your thoughts about success?
Olivia: Success is doing what I love doing and eventually finding peace.
Princess Zombie: I don’t want to look for success. It’s a maze, which entraps you into useless things.
Q) What are your thoughts about love?
Princess Zombie: LOL.
Olivia: Self-love is the purest form of love and probably the only kind of love you can depend on.
Q) Describe Bhavika in one word.
Princess Zombie: BAE! ❤
Q) What is the one piece of advice you would like to give to the readers?
Princess Zombie: Grow Up. YOLO, chilz. Find Peace within yourself.
Olivia: You’ll find your home, hold on.
Princess Zombie: No wait. Tell your readers to always stay fuckable. Staying fuckable should be your number one priority. You’re useless if you’re not fuckable.
Me: Yes. Ma’am. Ok, that’s all. Thanks a lot both of you for answering these questions. Love you two peeps.
*Both of them ignore me because they’re shite friends.*
That’s all folks.
You’re always welcome to answer these questions and tag me in the post where you do so. Let me know what would you answer differently and if you agree/disagree with my friends. I would love to hear from you!