I don’t want to talk about my first term result nor the existential crisis that came with it. However, I do want to talk about my future, because who’s ever satisfied with their present. Not this girl, obviously.
So, the other day, these two people from a college called ‘Ashoka University’ came to our school to endorse the said college. They said phrases like ‘American Universities affiliated’, ‘You’ll be able to do anything you want’, ’24 hour open well stocked Library’, ‘We want to know you more and not your marks’ amongst many others. And to say that I was floored, is a huge understatement.
I mean they had ‘Sustainability’ as a club! And they had a course in Women leadership! No college in India has that to brag about!!
At the end they gave us these feedback pamphlets. It had a question about how the presentation was. I ticked ‘great’ because these people had done the unthinkable. They had convinced me to pursue a course of Biology in their college and give up my current dream of becoming a doctor. Ha!
I mean, it wasn’t that I was swayed from my goal, (which I was for a moment) but the fact that it didn’t leave my system as soon as I left the hall made me feel awful. I still feel the yearning to go to a college where everything is posh and where I am able to pursue both – subjects of humanities and sciences. Which, I might add, is the actual dream. I want to be well informed. I want to be well ‘educated’. I don’t just want to know about my field. I want to know about every field so that I can apply its teachings where ever it’s required. I want to be able to study American History with Biology. I want to study about women in Politics and write poetry about sexism. I want to do it all and the fact that I have chosen to pursue just one field, which is Medical, I feel that I’m committing some kind of a crime.
I know this will sound weird, but now that that it’s out on paper, I feel so much better. The fog the yearning had created has somehow instantly subsided. And now do I see how stupid my worries were. I can become a master in just one thing only if I have constant practice in it. And if I waste my precious time doing History, just to quench my thirst of knowledge, I will not be able to practice enough Biology to become a master at it. That makes sense, right?
Anyway, coming back to my first term result.
My result was not as good, not as bad either. I know where I went wrong and I know I need to practice more. Also, I topped in Bio yayayaya!
From today, I’ll start revising my class 11th syllabus. It’ll be my last revision before the final one just before my medical entrance exams in May/June. It’s very scary. I’m only a few months away from giving the exam that decides the fate of my career. No pressure. *Fake smile*
How was your day? Was it good? I hope it was. Tell me all about it!